Alice Joy and I are a committed 'side-by-side' couple. Side-by-side is a bonding that blends individuality and togetherness, and endures entirely on the strength of its devotion and love.
We met in 1992 - though 'met' is a bit ambiguous in this instance, for our actual meeting was the culmination of an 8-month correspondence begun in September of '92. Though we lived almost within walking distance of one another, the correspondence was maintained without breach (not even by an exchange of photos!) until we were quite genuinely known to each other. It had started in the wake of a personals ad, written by me and answered by her.
I had just returned, weary and depleted, from a 19-month adventure abroad (see Innocence Abroad, slowly being added to this site) and was prompted by the offer of a free ad in a local seniors publication, to see what Fortune might present me with. Joy - the name she prefers for everyday use - had recently come through a long and arduous process of self-healing from the wounds of a prior relationship, and responded to my ad with the sure certainty of an ancient seeress that it (I) was right for her. She had never before responded to such an ad.
And, of course, she was right.
Among other standout qualities revealed in our correspondence, the gift of her award-winning pastel artistry hooked me right from the start. She included in one of her letters the reproduction of an Indian child, with puzzled, pleading eyes, that told me more of Joy's soul in an instant's grasp than words could ever have expressed.
Close to the time I placed that small ad, Joy had drawn up, for herself, a personal Declaration of Independence, which is worth presenting here -- for it speaks to the necessary and possible process of recovery from abusive relationships, and may be read as an inspiration to all who find their lives embroiled in that issue. The framework of this declaration will sound familiar, but the spirit of it is quite unique.
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